Monday, 25 February 2013

Gamekeeper Theatre. Today's episode: Star Wars

Scene: A morning discussion over a cup of tea, the SyFy channel is on in the backround.

MIKE
"I like this show." (he thinks it's Psych)

Me
"No you don't, it's science fiction." (it's actually Warehouse 13)

MIKE
"I like science fiction, I just don't like it when it's too far fetched."

Me
"Darling, that's the point of science fiction. Imagination that leads us to make technological strides. Some of it is now science fact, or at least based on probable theories."

MIKE
"Really [said with sarcasm]. How is a bear driving a flying saucer plausible?"

Me
"I'm sorry...What? What bear?!"

MIKE
"That's why I don't want to watch Star Wars."

JEN
"What bear??"

MIKE
"The bear. In Star Wars. The bear with the squeaky voice. He flies the spaceship."

Me
"You mean the wookie? Chewbacca?"

MIKE
"Why are there bears in outer space?"

(I love that my husband still says "flying saucer" and "outer space", like a Ray Bradbury novel)

Me
"It's not a bear. It's a wookie. Wookies are a race of aliens. And he's not flying the ship, he's the co-pilot."

MIKE
"Who's the pilot then?"

Me
"Han solo. It's his ship"

MIKE 
"Is he the main character?"

Me
"No, that's Luke Skywalker."

MIKE
"And his father is the bloke in the black suit that doesn't breathe too well?"

(Now I start laughing.)

Me
"So you think of Darth Vader, leader of the empire, builder of the Death Star, as just some space guy's asthmatic dad?!?"

(I don't want to explain anymore. I want him to stay just as he is. So I give him a kiss and tell him to go to work. He stands by the door.)

MIKE
"I expect all the evil chaps are defeated in the end, and Luke saves the day." 

Me
"Actually, his dad cuts off his arm and learns that Luke has a twin sister by reading his mind."

MIKE
"And that's how it ends?!?"

Me
"That's how the first movie ends" 

MIKE
"The first movie? How many Start Warses are there?!?"

(I hand him his gun, and fill his pocket with shells and send him out the door, and into the woods, where there are no squeaky bears, wheezy dictators, or one-armed heroes.)

THE END

10 comments:

Seester said...

Hahahaha... ok, we clearly partnered with a variation of the same person. Remy and I have discussions like this all the time. He still hasn't seen Star Wars eps 4,5,+6 all the way through. But Empire was on the other day when Remy walked in the room. "Is that a bad guy?" he asked, motioning at five people on the screen. "Which guy?" I inquired. "The Reading Rainbow guy." "Lando?," I said incredulously, "First of all, that is not LeVar Burton. LeVar Burton was on Star Trek Next Generation. Secondly, thinking that Billy Dee Williams is LeVar Burton is more racist than if you had just said 'the black guy' and thirdly, Lando is only as good or bad as Han Solo. Which is one of the great things about Star Wars and why people were so upset about Han not shooting first in the cantina when Lucas rereleased ep 1." (blank stare from Remy) "You don't know about that controversy? How is it possible that you work in design in San Francisco and you don't know about that?" (more blank stares). I should also mention here that Remy's dad actually built a bunch of props for the Star Wars movies. And I also cut him some slack on the racist part because he actually confuses people's faces all the time. People who look absolutely nothing alike. Like Tom Cruise and Jon Hamm. Seriously.

Jennifer Montero said...

Ahh yes, the blank stare of the unpolluted mind. Also your comment is funnier than the post. Give Remy a kiss from me, and thank him for being such a great source of entertainment.

janice bendixen said...

You both have me laughing out loud. How, indeed, can Remy work in design in SFO and NOT know these things? For pity's sake, I went to college in Marin the the 80s (I know, I know) and learned much of the back story, being so close to Lucas World. Regardless, you both brightened my morning up here in the sub-arctic and I thank you.

Kris said...

This is just a delicious post! I'm so looking forward to the upcoming season of Warehouse 13. Yay.

As for far-fetched and unbelievable, we don't have to look all the way to outer space and flying saucers. Over here we've got the U.S.Congress for jaw-dropping machinations, intrigue and heavy breathing. Gosh, give me a pair of tights and a ray gun any day of the week!

Dog Hair in my Coffee said...

Perfect! I love that some people, (too much like myself to admit), have NO IDEA about some things like that. I can't even keep Star Trek and Star Wars separate in my mind - they just blend like one endlessly long movie entity. Shame on me, I know. But I hate science fiction as a genre, do not like or watch movies in general, and have a very limited short-term memory to begin with, so... I think I like Mike even MORE now than I did, and I've always thought he was a pretty good guy!!!

alke said...

Priceless! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

I am thinking we are missing the real issue here; it's not that Mike hasn't seen Star Wars the bigger issue is that Mike seemingly doesn't know what a bear looks like!

Jennifer Montero said...

Anon- I agree, it's a poor showing for a gamekeeper. Next time we're visiting the US, I will take him bear watching at the dump. He would prefer that to watching Star Wars I'm sure!

Poppy Cottage said...

That book!

Terry Scoville said...

Wonderful!