Cabin iFever

The view down our road

Short days and inclement weather are putting the kibosh on our outdoor fun. We're in the throes of severe snowstorms, at least by British standards. As a hardened New Englander I scoff at the scant centimetres of snow, grass in the front year still poking up through. But we're not equipt with gritters and salt for the roads, and the temperature is just hovering around freezing so the freeze/thaw cycle is making black ice.

Big Lamb and Little Lamb shelter by the hedge

We fed the pheasants before the weather set in. I was up early defrosting drinking water and putting out extra food for the critters as the snow started. I had planned to go stalking as the deer are holding in the sheltered woods, but my scope filled with snow and visibility was poor. I had to give up. Now I'm watching the little wild birds hanging from the peanut feeders and eating the corn cobs I left on the ground. A cock pheasant came by to feed with the chickens in the yard.

This little hen sees her first snow

Even Mike's given in and come home. We're holed up in the warm room with a healthy pile of wood I split and stacked, knowing the weather was on the turn. Even in the warm room I've prised my cardigan out from under a sleeping dog and put it on. The wind is taking the heat out of our not well-insulated cottage. Some people still use heavy curtains to prevent the draughts. But pulling the curtains and sitting in the dark would probably drive me over the edge.

We're coping with cabin fever by drinking endless pots of coffee and catching up on conversation.

"My mobile phone contract says I'm due an upgrade and I can have an iPhone" Mike said

"Do you know what an iPhone is?" I said

"Well I know it's not an iPod." he said, referring to the time when I bought an iPod and couldn't figure out how to use the phone. Not realising that they were two different devices. Much to the continued hilarity of my sister and friends.

"You only know that because I'm stupid." I said. "What are you going to do with it? You can't even work out how to use predictive text."

The word we christened to describe our gross ignorance in this area is "technotardation".

 "It has apps. They're useful." Mike said

"On what planet are there iPhone apps that will be relevant to you? Unless it has a leatherman and jumper cables." I said.

"It takes pictures." he said

"You only take pictures of fish and dissected pheasants for your own reference." I said

"Is there an app for that?" Mike asked

Good lord.

I took Mike outside and pointed to our back door. "Here's all the technology you need" I said-

"That white bin is your 'inbox'. The postman puts your mail in it. The silver bucket is your 'recycling bin' - compost and ash for the garden. The thermometer on the wall is your 'app'. It tells you what the temperature is. What more do you want?" I said.

"Hmphh." Mike said. "Well I'm kind of hungry..."

"I can make you pancakes or there's some leftover cake from Mrs Martin. It's in a tin in the footwell of your truck." I said.

Mike thought about it. "People who eat cake out of the footwell of their truck are probably not the kind of people that need iPhones." he said.

I rest my case.